As I contemplate this new job, my particular focus is yet again, on coming out. It's disheartening to know this is essentially a never-ending process. But I have to say, the accepting cultural climate afforded here makes it FEEL easier.
Coming out at college was a relatively easy thing. Done in the space of about six months, I answered the inevitable personal questions with brevity.. yet candor and humor where possible. I trusted this younger generation, sort of as I do my kids; to be accepting and COMPLETELY in touch with the defining-yourself headstorm that takes us all from time to time. I wasn't disappointed and made some good friends.
The store was harder, more contact, more people, more questions thrown offhand in the form of small talk. UGH. Here, approaching the end of *counting* 18? months, none of my regular customers know. My co-workers do though and it's not an issue. When LynnieLoo got the secondment, then the permanent position, they all jumped happily with me as I shared our good news. Many ask about my kids, freaked with me over my unexpected mom-in-law status. (I still freeze when I think of that, though completely OT.. Dad knows know and I'm relieved.) It's been nice, once I figured how to let it out. LOL
One co worker, a young lady, even came out to me! Her roommate, who also works with us, is actually her partner. She'd hang out with me on our late evenings, sharing conversations about holding hands in public, telling the folks and how it feels in general. She was excited to have found someone to talk with.
LOL.. I gave her our home's namesake, The Pussy Palace. It's a cat house/ toy .. yeah, I see you with your mind in the gutter.. *w* They have a new kitten, it was appropriate!
So I'm changing situations again. Undoubtedly less volume of people, but I also don't know how closely we'll all be working. I've got two days of indoctrination-things, done with the HR lady, the same woman who interviewed me. At the time, she didn't ask and I didn't tell. There was no place for it, all the conversation was work centered.
I could make sure to tell her, if it didn't naturally come up. But I'd hate to trigger any sort of policy reminders .. LOL. So I'm leaning more towards just winging it, fate to the wind and continuing to trust the people here. They've not yet let me down.
3 comments:
I'd rather people know me for my personality and for what I can do before they judge me on account of my so-called "lifestyle." I wholeheartedly agree with the "winging it" strategy.
I mentioned it in the interview process, but being tg is a bit different, in that it's a here I am sort of thing... who one's partnering with is really not something that needs be shared. BTW, they told me in the interview I need not share my story, but big mouth me did anyway, simply because of not wishing to be bothering me down the road...
the office I'm in now, out of 8 of us, three are queer. Vicki and I are out out, we have gay stuff all over our work area. Michael... is closeted tg, Vicki, Toni (our boss) and I know.
This all came about as part of a natural flow of things, and I suspect it will be the same for you... the circumstances and flow of everyday interaction will answer your questions.
I like your sense of humor Nony! :)
Hey, I just wanted to say thanks. You have been a beacon of light. I really appreciate your kindness. Words are powerful. And, your words and kindness have been helpful to me. You have a great thing with Lou – blessings to you both. No matter what anyone else thinks, your love will be greater than.
Sincerely,
the editor
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