Oh, there are things I should be doing. Gardening stuff, like checking the warranty on the lawnmower and getting an estimate for the diagnosis/treatment of a cherry tree pest. I suppose if I really thought about it, there are other things on that particular list.
But I can't turn my mind away from the fact that my son is leaving for boot camp on Sunday. Besides all the issues I have with our gov't and Iraq, I want to be home in the valley right now.
I want to see him off, to celebrate this huge step to adulthood that he's taking. He's completely leaving home now, off to follow a star of his very own.
I want to see my daughter, celebrate with her, to be scared and miss him together. They are the very best children in the world, these two. OMG, yes, they do drive me nuts.. as kids do, with their focus on self and their 'infallable wisdom'. But they are still the greatest.
They love eachother and support eachother with SUCH a strength. They 'played together' well, noticably so much longer than their peers. During the overlap years, when they were both in highschool together, they'd bicker at home.. but back eachother ferociously to the rest of the world.
I used to tell them that friends can come and go.. but a brother and a sister are there for life. Circumstances torqued that up a bit ; mom coming out and their (mostly) unswerving support... health scares they each experienced. I'm amazed at how much they involve themselves in eachother's lives.
( and shouldn't have been so surprised that when my son moved out due to disputes over a car and the rules ... that my daughter went with him! )
But I want to be there. Their Dad is having a bbq tomorrow for him, with all his friends and family invited. I would gladly suffer the eye and strained company of everyone I once knew... just to see my son off properly, to hold my daughter's hand and to hug them both for ages.
Some of this emotion, I try to tell myself, MUST be common to Empty Nest Syndrome. For ages, they were the focus of my life. LOL, my playmates. Maybe I was overly attached to them, funnelling my emotion to them after their Dad began his emotional retreat. I can't say for sure.
I know this. It's hard to be far from them.