I just borrowed that phrase from another blog, because it is SO fitting in this instance.
Finally today, Thursday, I asked my supervisor when we would hear the results from our appraisals (done Monday) for the job. She sounded surprised I hadn't heard yet and stated she's speak with HR. About 20 mins later, the lovely HR lady was asking to have a word with me.
It's encouraging, to be the first.. they have to get their chosen candidate to accept the position before they can tell the others they have been unsuccessful, so I felt pretty bouyant.
I was told that I did exceptionally well on my appraisal. Then, unfortunately, due to some mixup, there actually wasn't any job available! Yes, ladies and gents, I am the proud winner of a non-job. Nice eh?
It's a huge muddle. Some mess about two request to HR to fill a position.. and a higher up spot being filled by someone from another branch due to disability issues.. tho I'm not clear that had much impact on MY non-job. (And I'm NOT dissing anyone's disability rights here either.. this is just the way the story was told to me.)
But the long and short of it is that, though I did an excellent job interviewing and testing for the job, I don't get it, because there isn't any IT.
I felt quietly confident at the beginning of the week. As the days slid by I stayed close to the phone. My confidence began to wane. What if NONE of us passed? The faults I felt in my assessment began to appear larger-than- life shadows to my ambition. It was freaky, really.
I wonder if it's a GOOD thing they waited, gave me time to talk myself down from the conviction that the job was mine... omg, I was even scoping out new cars.
I spent over £200 buying a new suit plus another too-gorgeous-to miss suit jacket, I was so sure I'd be needing them for court. And new shoes.. and Lou surprised me with a gorgeous matching purse. More beautiful things that will spend most of their lives in the dark wardrobe.
As a side note, my colleague who also applied was told he'd FAILED the appraisal! He was furious, saying later that he'd passed his last appraisal (just someone else had done better) but failed this one? What was up? Truthfully, I wasn't too bothered for him, but my best bud Ju reminded me of something..
On one of the tests, we were given all the information to create a summons, only the info was all scrambled up, out of order. Our task was to put it all in proper order (later to present as if were were stood in front of the magistrates). So I'm in the test room with this guy and I finish 'assembling' my summons within the allotted half hour. 'Pencils down.' The test supervisor tells us we can take our finished summons and the scrambled info with us and releases us to the break room before our presentations.
In the break room, this guy picks up his pencil and CONTINUES to work on his summons! I'm in shock. He's only written a few lines and I felt I HAD to speak up. 'Hey, pencils down.' He says, why would they let me take the scrambled info if this wasn't okay? .. and keeps writing.
The two other candidates are sat there with me, neither of them saying a word. All I could think was that here's an intelligent man, KNOWING he's cheating, taking unfair advantage against all of us, and basically DARING us to object.
You know that pissed me right the fuck off, right? He thinks he can piss on me and I won't say anything? I said, 'That's not right. She said pencils down because we were out of time to do this task. You're done.'
He made a joke, but he stopped.
So Ju said, it is unusual that he'd fail, wonder if someone told the examiners about his cheating? That would definitely be a fail if they knew!
He's asked for feedback, I suppose if he starts acting cool towards me I may have a conclusion... but he can't blame me. I only made him stop. I didn't tell anyone, except Ju that is.
Anyway. For now I will continue to take it up the ass in petrol. If that position opens up again within the next six months, I can have it (so they say). But I'm not holding my breath.
We'll see what happens. As it is, Ju goes to her new graduate position in two weeks. She came to Manchester with me from Liverpool and has been my bud for a long crazy time now. For a while I sort of thought we'd both be out of there together but look like this is not to be.
I can't tell you wht a dissapointing day this had been.
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