The computer ate my blog yesterday.
I suppose it was all for the best. My children have me rather upset lately, to say the least.. and I was having myself a major whine here. But having to step back and accept it as it is always seems to work. I managed to speak to my son on IM again later. And no matter how much I love/ hate this hands-off approach .. it's simply where we're at right now. My boy, who's technically a man tells me ALL he's been up to, usually for emotional support. But he will accept little input from me. The phone will go quiet and he'll freeze me out if he doesn't want to hear what I'm saying. My daughter will do the same. We each made this choice to disconnect, myself included. I will always feel every prick of their pain... but I must figure some way to further untie the threads of guilt and worry. They want it this way. I must accept it as it is.
They say you don't just love your children, that you fall IN love with them. I believe that's true.
I'll tell you what though, I am seriously coming to hate this computer.