Rub THIS

A few years ago, while visiting my parents, their neighbors managed to piss off both me and my sister in one go. It was late and the men were debating all sorts of shit out on the patio. The night was lovely so sis and I were out there too, sitting off a slight distance, quietly yakking with eachother.

It was hard to ignore them.They'd been drinking and their voices carried louder and louder as they attempted to lord their opinions over each other.

They set us off by their trash talking, slamming government assistance programs, saying we 'ought to just carpet-bomb Iraq' and denigrating gay marriage. My parents said later that 'they hadn't been listening' at that point and didn't realize how offensive the neighbors had been. Perhaps no one realized we were still out there at that point.

My sister was the first to clue my folks into what had been said and how offended we were. They were mortified and apologized all over themselves. The next time I visited, they pointedly asked those particular neighbors NOT to come while I was there. It was hard for them, they love their neighbors and relish their company. ( I don't know what that says about my folks except they're incredibly sociable and love to entertain.)

So anyway, fast forward to this spring. Mom and Dad invited us to their home during the last part of our recovery for a visit. I want to see them as often as I can since I live so far away. I also wanted for Lou to finally see their new place, so we accepted.

But I also didn't want Lou subjected to any of their neighbors' crap. It's one thing for me to walk willingly into whatever situation might blow up but I wouldn't ask her to take that on.

Mom and Dad surprised me by pre-empting the whole conversation. They'd taken aside the worst of the 'offenders', explained what we'd heard out of their mouths so long ago, particularly relating to gays and told them they would never be invited back if they said ONE negative word about gays in our vicinity.

The visit, as you know, went smashingly. All the neighbors were well behaved, very friendly and felt most comfortable in our presence.

So what's my beef, you're asking? Mom told me later that one of them had remarked to her how pleasantly surprised she was, that we were nice people and that even though we're gay, 'didn't rub their faces in it'.

We never do big PDA's. I just don't, not my style. I might hold her hand or stroke her arm or (horrors) give her a quick peck on my way by .. but could someone please tell me, WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY EXPECT?

We acted like every other couple out there. And no, not get-a-room kinda couples either. I offer to bring her a drink or a snack when I go to the kitchen, just like I did for all the others around.. I look after her and make sure she's comfortable after all she's left her familar environment to come be with me.. but what else could they be afraid of?

Do they think gay people will recruit them if they aren't actively repulsive and mean? Do they think I'm going to strip down and fuck on the back deck? WHAT?

I have two thoughts. One, that neighbor hasn't spent ANY time around out gay people. Two, she may have been attempting to somehow validate her earlier trash talk. Like, oh YOUR gays were nice but all the others, well, THEY deserve trash talk. ??

I know I'm supposed to be pleased. The visit did go well, the neighbors seemed to like us and at least they got to spend time around some 'regular lesbians'.

But wait till next time.. when I can drink again. Yah, that'll be me, rubbing it in.